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Saclay Atomiade

15-18 June 2012

 

Harwell Laboratories Recreational Association (HLRA)

(a.k.a. JET FC)

 

Click on the thumbnail pictures and underlined links to reveal the full photos.

All tour photos are here 

Videos of the Sunday night drinking competition and orginal resolution photos are available on request.

 

The Team - 10 players, 1 guest and 1 manager.

Back row left to right

Tom Turner - injured, manager, team coach and master tactician

Richard Law

Alan Potter

Chris Hoy

Xavier Sudrie  - guest who played every game

Nico Veillard

Geraint Apps

Geoff Broughton

 

Front row left to right

James Broughton

Andy Potter

Bob Brooks

Dave Cookson

 

Two more guests played on the Sunday

Eric and Stephan

 

Some highlights

   

 

Wednesday

England would be playing Euro 2012 during our tournament and penalty shoot-outs were bound to be decisive. A few practice penalties at Tilsley Park couldn't do any harm. That was until Tom strained his thigh and was very doubtful for the matches. Now JET were down to 10 players with a record breaking age range of 19 to 60. Excessive beer and the broiling sun would surely take its toll.

 

Friday

The trip was planned to perfection. Nico was our local tour representative who found and booked the Hotel d'Orsay without any help from the organisers. Ideally located close to the football stadium and the Metro into Paris.

Nico would take the EuroStar from London at 5 am and arrive at the hotel early. The trains at more reasonable times were far too expensive so the rest decided to take three cars. Andy, Geoff and James in Alan's car going through the tunnel. Bob, Chris, Geraint and Tom in Dave's mother-in-law's car also through the tunnel but only Dave was allowed to drive. Richard with his wife and mother via a ferry followed by a few days in France after the tournament. Everyone would rendezvous with an hour to spare for the coach to the Polytechnique, opening ceremony, food and beer.

 

Everyone met up at Motorway services by chance and had time to consult the fixtures.

 

The rest was not plain sailing. We were greeted by long tail backs before reaching the EuroTunnel entrance. There was a three hour delay due to immigrants on the line. Richard's ferry was also delayed by an hour. The quick zip along empty toll roads from Calais was then followed by tremendous jams in Paris. Nico "Billy no - mates" therefore went to the opening ceremony alone to get the tournament itinerary.

 

Despite the various departure times, the three cars arrived at the hotel simultaneously. The receptionist was not exactly pleased and after the final registration exclaimed that there was no more room. Geoff, James and Andy could endure the hunger no longer and marched all the way into Orsay and then back again to the Thai restaurant that they originally past. The rest watched England beat Sweden (Andy Carroll's leap estimated at 8 foot 5 inch and 64 mph)

 

 

and emptied the vending machine of Heineken cans. Thus ended the soberest first night on JET tour.

 

Saturday

JET arrived early at the stadium with uncharacteristic clear heads. The stadium was a marvellous venue although the toilets lacked doors and seats.

 

What would be the team tactics with just 10 players?

 

Nico resolved the crisis by borrowing Xavier from the local Saclay team.

 

The first game of the campaign was against Markus's Karlsruhe.

 

Unfortunately the grass on the B pitch was long and wet. Perfect for Chris Hoy to aquaplane his knee into Geoff the goalie's shin during the first half. The ensuing injury can be viewed as a gory timeline. Dr Bob administered the magical ligament stretch to help walk off the injury.

 

The football result was 3-3 with Markus's son scoring twice and James thrice (aged 19, 100 metre runner and Geoff's son). At last JET had a prolific striker compared to some tours where just one goal was scored.

 

Next game was against CEA Grenoble in the main stadium which proved to be a tough challenge. The match ended 1-1 with James scoring again. We would meet the bald player again.

   

 

Group A was now finely poised. The top two teams would progress into the semi-finals and possible glory. The fight for 5th to 8th places was the prize for the bottom two. Harwell therefore had to win the third game by 5 clear goals. FS Dresden - Rossendorf had already shipped 10 goals but would be no push over.

 

Lunch provided a welcome break from the tension and

 

 

a chance to wake up some sleepy frogs.

 

Some familiar faces were spied in the stadium: Markus with the man who's ample shirt allowed Ian Behling and Bob to spoon at Ispra 2007;

 

 

the manic Caderache goalkeeper; Andy Carroll; David Jason as Blanco from Porridge 

  

 

and Danny from BelgoProcess. The host of the 2013 football tournament promised football, a tropical swimming pool and accommodation for the same price. The cost of the Saclay Atomiade was a sore point with everyone.

 

The two final matches of the Group were now played simultaneously. Some frantic permutations of the league situation lead to Tom's winning strategy. Score 5 goals.

 

Sadly there are no photos of this decisive game where everyone played their part. James scored twice. Dave, Rich and Xavier slotted a goal a peice providing the required 5 goal lead. Even the crippled Geoff saved a penalty with a casual outstretched hand. Alan's knees eventually buckled, he hobbled off and we triumphed with just 10 men. Harwell were now in the semi-final.

 

Having being deprived of alcohol and wholesome food, the team headed for Paris on a local train. There was just time for a quick glance at Notre Dame and the Seine before marching onwards to a Parisian restaurant with overpriced beers and haute cuisine.

    

 

There was no time for sightseeing - even the Eiffel Tower could not be seen from street level - so Harwell moved on to an Irish pub to watch football. Drinking Mojito and Sex on the Beach cocktails was very likely to lead to some silliness.

  

 

Like shoving a little finger through a beer mat.

 

Hopping over the Metro barriers just because they would not accept our tickets.

 

Showing utter disbelief that Geraint passed the Commando's medical only to fail when asked if willing to shoot someone.

 

The escalator running competition which defeated the foolhardy.

 

 

Flushed with the inspirational success on the football pitch, Tom, JET treasurer and kitty holder offered 50 euros for the first complete circuit. James dashed off closely followed by Andy. Andy stumbled and James romped home to claim his prize.

 

 

Sunday

Semi-Final. JET had never won a semi-final on tour. This now seemed impossible with just 10 players and Alan side-lined. Markus's son was offered a chance of glory but preferred to guard the goals for the minor places. Once again Nico negotiated with the Saclay hosts and enlisted Eric.

 

Harwell bolstered by the two Saclay exiles went on to beat the Saclay hosts 2-1. Dave scored from a spot kick and then from a long looping free kick. Xavier mastered the aerial battle, Bob thundered through tackles and James sped past floundering defenders. Geoff conceded a goal. Xavier and Eric were now the envy of their Saclay team mates.

     

 

After the efforts in the semi-final, Harwell could never muster the energy for a massed stampede at the starting whistle.

 

 

While Grenoble, the other finalists, relaxed in the stands supping beer all morning.

 

Final. Harwell was determined to savour the occasion with Bob gate-crashing the traditional team photo.

 

Nico was awarded a small St George's flag to wear as an honorary Englishman during the match.

 

The two teams lined up in the tunnel to enter the field of play. There followed a short delay caused by more gate-crashers and a red distress flare.

  

 

The game commenced with some football and soon a Grenoble player went off with a black eye. Nigel would be proud.

 

Harwell came under intense pressure. The slap head (shirt sponsored by S&V Boutique) once again pushed through the defence.

    

 

Dave had a crack at goal.

 

But despite Harwell's efforts, a Saclay player broke the defensive line, dodged the keeper and slid the ball into the net. 

 

Eric was replaced at half time by a planned substitution. Stephan, our third Saclay recruit, came on after finishing the veteran's tournament.

 

 

Harwell fought back with Andy thumping in tackles and James sprinting into the box. James was man-marked by Grenoble's best player who had learnt from the first encounter.

  

 

Dave attempted a teasing free kick.

 

 

Rich engaged in some knee jousting, Dave performing imaginary slide tackles and Geraint ... what was he doing with the Frenchman? 

   

 

Losing 1-0 in our first final was a bitter sweet moment.

 

Closing Ceremony

Harwell had some value to make up after missing the Friday night bash. A coach took us to the Polytechnique high up on the plateau above Saclay. Just as well we did not attempt to walk on Friday night. Arrived at the entrance and milled around on a huge concrete assembly area with nowhere to sit or shade from the sun. Now what do we do? Wait for the group photo.

 

The only entertainment was a England v France game of boules played with water filled balloons generously supplied by the Atomiade organisers.

 

Bob exhibited text book symptoms of alcohol deprivation - wall climbing.

 

Followed by liberating the Saclay Atomiade flag.

 

Eventually canaps were delivered by waitresses and punch was ladled from a matching set of fish tanks. These contained copious amounts of punch.

 

 

After about an hour, we entered a long mall searching for our table. Clearly the organisers knew what to expect and placed the rowdy Harwell and Grenoble footballers at the entrance way, way back from the distant stage.

 

There were some bottles of wine supplied and also borrowed from an adjacent empty table. Eventually the Red Cross volunteers turned up and had a miserable time surrounded by empty glasses.

 

Grenoble were opposite making loads of noise and singing. They must have collected the football trophy at some point, but the stage was miles away to be seen. There was nothing for us except souvenir hand towels for our efforts. Grenoble were generous in their victory and filled our glasses with wine - their own or perhaps also borrowed. 

 

The organisers were nowhere to be seen, so what should we do with the whisky? Bob made an executive decision.

 

 

Nico did his best impression of an English gentleman but gagged on the Scottish liquor.

 

 

Geraint considers the three drinks in one trick: white, whisky then red, then regrets the attempt.

 

 

Chris simply passed the shot to Andy.

 

 

Geoff demonstrated how an old pro carefully mixes his drinks.

 

 

Young James, naive and impressionable, was chaperoned all evening by Dave and Bob. They were unable to prevent him first downing the white wine, red wine and finally the whisky in one.

  

 

Bob then demonstrated his protective paternal instincts.

 

Grenoble allowed us to share their glory and loft the 2012 football trophy high.

  

 

How the main football trophy in the glass case ended up in the toilets after the tables were being tidied up remains a mystery.

 

 

Bob greeted Gunther Herdam, the retiring ASCERI President, draped in the blue ASCERI flag. The flag was somehow mislaid. Last seen the flag was firmly attached to Gunther's head.

 

Apparently there was some popular music on the distant stage to entertain the masses.

 

The Broughtons and Potters needed some assistance back to the hotel. Bob carefully shepherded James back to his room.

 

Monday

James located some clean clothes and shoes without vomit. Met up with a dazed Andy and slept all the way back to England.

 

Here are the photos

 

The Football Results

Saturday 16th June 2012

Group A

CEA Grenoble

5

FS Dresden - Rossendorf

0

HLRA Harwell

James 3

3

JRC Karlsruhe

Markus's son 2

3

CEA Grenoble

1

HLRA Harwell

James 1

1

FS Dresden - Rossendorf

1

JRC Karlsruhe

5

CEA Grenoble

3

JRC Karlsruhe

0

FS Dresden - Rossendorf

0

HLRA Harwell

James 2

Dave 1

Rich 1

Xavier 1

 

Harwell had to win by 5 goals to be certain of progression

5

 

Team

W

D

L

F

A

P

Grenoble

2

1

0

9

1

7

Harwell

1

2

0

9

4

5

Karlsruhe

1

1

1

8

7

4

Dresden Rossendorf

0

0

3

1

15

0

 

Group B

CEA- Cadarache

0

CEA - Saclay

2

CERN

3

CEA IRSN - FAR

0

CEA- Cadarache

1

CERN

0

CEA - Saclay

2

CEA IRSN - FAR

0

CEA- Cadarache

2

CEA IRSN - FAR

0

CEA - Saclay

1

CERN

0

 

Team

W

D

L

F

A

P

Saclay

3

0

0

5

0

9

Cadarache

2

0

1

3

2

6

CERN

1

0

2

3

2

3

CEA IRSN - FAR

0

0

3

0

7

0

 

Sunday 17th June 2012

Semi-Final 1

Grenoble

0

5 pens

Cadarache

0

3 pens

 

Semi-Final 2

Saclay

1

Harwell

Dave 2

(penalty and free kick)

2

 

Final

Harwell

0

Grenoble

1

 

Full Football Results are here for all tournament games

 

Fair Play Award

FS Dresden - Rossendorf who finished bottom. They probably received a trophy unlike the runners up.


Harwell Player of the Tour

James.

 

Post Tour Message from the Parisian Organisers

"I would appeal for return of the winner's cup of Atomiade 2012, and the flag ASCERI carried away by a delegation in the euphoria of the evening to take a shot. It is important to get it, it owned ASCERI not the Atomiade 2012."

 

Contact me Geoff.Broughton@hotmail.co.uk